Friday, October 14, 2011

in tight quarters, things get tense.

I have an officemate who is mostly really great. But he has this awful laugh - like MASSIVELY annoying. What can I do? - Jousting With a Jackass


JJ -

Throw a pencil into the acoustic tile of the ceiling over your cubicle. Give him a little "hey, check it out" nudge, and cast your eyes upward. When he looks up, crush his windpipe. Edge of your hand. aim for a spot like five inches behind his neck, so you really drive through.

If he survives, he'll never laugh again. Or if he does, it'll be way different - he'll probably sound like Blair's cousin Geri [1:33 is where the magic happens - eds.] on Facts of Life. So you may actually just be trading one problem for another.

But it won't really affect you. In jail. You fucking psycho.

Have fun gettin' ass-raped, you twisted fuck.

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